"Using My Money To Take Care Of My Personal Needs Was A Taboo" — Nigerian Lady Recounts Her Ordeal In The Hands Of Husband

A Nigerian lady who resides in Canada recounted her horrible ordeal in the hands of her husband, a 'control freak', who will do anything to be in charge of life. 

The lady identified as Ms. P, revealed how her husband loves to control her entire life. Her husband also never hesitate to hit her at the slightest provocation even in the presence of their children. 

Ms. P stated that her salary goes into their joint account while he made sure she doesn't have access to her salary. 

The lady added that even though she was the one that makes the money, she doesn't have access to it to solve her personal problem. 

"My husband came to Canada in 2020 as an int'l student. He applied for our kids (twins) & myself to join him. Our marriage has never been great because my husband is a control freak & he literally controls my entire life. He wasn't always like this, I don't know how we got here."

"He never hesitated to hit me at any slight provocation even in the presence of our kids. My salary goes into our joint account and he made sure I didn't have access to my salary. He was hesitant to bring me to Canada because he was scared the system wouldn't let him control me.

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"Anyways when I came, he stopped his part-time job and persuaded me work full time plus extra extra shifts to make the entire household income while he juggled school & took care of our boys since we could not get any daycare space for them immediately.

"I worked up to 80 hours weekly & still did home chores at home. It was too much for me so I begged my husband to allow me come home some evenings to take care of our boys & rest while he goes out those evenings to work part time & support the family income but he refused.

"It was like the physical & emotional abuse intensified after I spoke to him about working part-time. In a few months of being in Canada, I aged drastically & looked so unkempt. Using my money to take care of my personal needs was a taboo because my husband would rant non-stop.

"I would jump buses even in the snow because my husband won't let me drive to work even when he clearly isn't using his car. I didn't have any friends because I was always working and didn't have time to attend social events or even church. I was living in bondage in Canada

"My company hired a new Nigerian lady. On our 1st shift together, she noticed how sad & unkempt I was. She warmed up to me immediately & made me feel so comfortable around her. I canceled my extra shift for that day & followed her to her home. She took off the weaves on my hair,we washed my hair and then she gave me the contact of another Nigerian lady who ran a home salon. She also agreed to pay. The next day after my regular shift, I canceled the extra shift & went straight to make my hair. When I got home, my husband wasn't happy with my new look. He demanded to know where I got money to pay for my hair. I lied to him that the lady made it free because she said we are from the same state in Nigeria (lol). Long story short, that was how I made 2 Nigerian lady friends - my new coworker & the hair stylist.

"I don't know what to do. At this point, I am considering going back to Nigeria if that will return peace to my life. My emotions are all over the place. Please, what is your professional advice?"