I Was Afraid and Isolated Myself During Pregnancy - Toke Makinwa

Nigerian radio personality Toke Makinwa reflects on her journey to motherhood at 40, challenging societal expectations that tie a woman's worth to marriage and children. She also shares her vulnerable experience of feeling fearful and isolating herself during pregnancy.

Toke Makinwa, who welcomed her baby daughter a few weeks ago, has shared how society uses marriage as a benchmark to measure women's fulfillment, highlighting the pressure and expectations women face.

According to Toke Makinwa, women are pressured into believing they have limited time to get married or have children, as society often uses age as a benchmark for these milestones.

“I’m not one to even acknowledge negativity. I’ve built a strong brand off the stones that have constantly been thrown at me over the years, and one thing about God, he loves the people you judge so much. I am only sharing this for anyone out there dealing with contention, delay, shame, and all the cràzy limitations life can sometimes throw your way.

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Funny how no matter how much you rise career-wise as a woman, society still glorifies the things that haven’t happened for you yet. Marriage has become some sort of a yardstick to fulfilment, and if you don’t have a child yet, hmmmmmmm! Very loaded sigh.

Thank you, Jesus, this one ended in praise. You were not late; you only wanted my heart posture to be right, and I’m thankful for the community of women you’ve given me in this season.

I know there are ladies who feel they are running out of time; society wants you to believe that you have expired, you might even start to believe it, but you are wrong.

I am thankful I did not settle, I’m thankful I got to be a mum when I am ready, I am thankful I rejected all these labels, and I am grateful it happened not when I wanted it but when God’s timing was right. It is perfect!

Do not underestimate the power of negativity. I ran away the whole pregnancy, I became so fearful, and I shut everyone out. Then this word came: “Perfect love drowns out fear”. God is love, he gives good gifts, and it is perfect. I prayed it till my heart believed it.

The words hurt, but my spirit was not broken. They only reminded God about me, not that he forgot, but they challenged him to shatter the ceiling with this testimony. So here’s my advice to you,

Hold on, drown out the noise, focus on the Vine, let him do the heavy lifting, celebrate yourself at every stage, you are becoming, and everything good will come. There will be days when it’ll get tough, but the victory is worth it. Congratulations in advance to anyone waiting, it doesn’t have to be a child, whatever you’re waiting on, it’s here.”